Finally I am back. Today, I sat down with my laptop and started. Maybe I could have done this long ago, days or months ago, but that victim feeling always constrained me in its clutches.
You all may be thinking what victim like feeling I am talking about. To be frank, I didn’t want to write anymore. I was not happy with the way things were going for me. I had set goals for myself and the harder I tried, the further it went. I felt who am I to write about virtues when I myself haven’t incorporated it in my life completely. I thought I should do this only when I become successful in my field and then pass on the virtue to others.
More than good it did me more harm. I didn’t realize how subconsciously I embraced the victim feeling and it kept expanding so much.
One day i sat down and looked through all the feelings that were circulating in my head. I was shocked that I was thinking more negative, I was counting more on my shortcomings and it somehow started to hamper the way I speak and my self-confidence. I isolated myself into downtrodden path. I don’t know why I stopped to love myself.
I can now tell what exactly was happening. I was so attached to my goals that not achieving them seemed shear pain. In short I was desperate. My worth depended on my achievements which was the biggest mistake. But with time I moved on and slowly surrendered all to the universe. I did continue to fantasize about my goals but stopped expecting it.
I know what I want. When and how is not my concern. Believe me it was very peaceful. I focussed on loving and pampering myself. I started doing well in my work and things started going well. My dreams started fulfilling. I detached myself from the deadline.
Let it happen whenever it wants to. I know it will happen. I won’t sit at the window peeking out or waiting for it. When you detach your desires, you actually let them reach to the universe so that it can appear before us into fulfillment. You will not get affected by the obstructions because you know ultimately what you are going to be at the end. It will be just a part of journey to your destination. You decide your destination.
So lets count our blessings every day because nothing goes completely wrong. Never stop doing what you started. Keep doing what your heart sings. Every cloud has a silver lining and universe has your back.